Death of A Nice Guy

Welcome to my blog, I hope you enjoy as I divulge my thoughts and myself to the wonderful world wide web. So sit down, relax, and smile.

Hi my name is Joey.

I’M BACK!!!…again

I guess I’m back to the blogging world.  I’ve been planning to restart this blog as well as start a different blog for sometime now but I’ve been slacking on it.  So here it is James, here’s my update.  Hopefully any followers I did have didn’t hold their breath for my updates :P.

I’m not going into major updates just yet but I just wanted to make this announcement just to let you know that Death of A Nice Guys is up and running!  I promise I’ll update this with new content within the next week, there’s a lot on my mind so that should be easy.  Until then, zip it up and zip it out! 

One Day…

I will learn to make dreams come true

I will make everybody’s worries go away

I will learn how make the world laugh

I will turn frowns upside down

On this day…I might actually be happy.

Father Forgets

Listen, son: I am saying this as you lie asleep, one little paw crumpled under your cheek and the blond curls stickily wet on your damp forehead. I have stolen into your room alone. Just a few minutes ago, as I sat reading my paper in the library, a stifling wave of remorse swept over me. Guiltily I came to your bedside.

There are the things I was thinking, son: I had been cross to you. I scolded you as you were dressing for school because you gave your face merely a dab with a towel. I took you to task for not cleaning your shoes. I called out angrily when you threw some of your things on the floor.

At breakfast I found fault, too. You spilled things. You gulped down your food. You put your elbows on the table. You spread butter too thick on your bread. And as you started off to play and I made for my train, you turned and waved a hand and called, ‘Goodbye, Daddy!’ and I frowned, and said in reply, ‘Hold your shoulders back!’

Then it began all over again in the late afternoon. As I came up the road I spied you, down on your knees, playing marbles. There were holes in your stockings. I humiliated you before your boyfriends by marching you ahead of me to the house. Stockings were expensive – and if you had to buy them you would be more careful! Imagine that, son, from a father!

Do you remember, later, when I was reading in the library, how you came in timidly, with a sort of hurt look in your eyes? When I glanced up over my paper, impatient at the interruption, you hesitated at the door. ‘What is it you want?’ I snapped.You said nothing, but ran across in one tempestuous plunge, and threw your arms around my neck and kissed me, and your small arms tightened with an affection that God had set blooming in your heart and which even neglect could not wither. And then you were gone, pattering up the stairs.

Well, son, it was shortly afterwards that my paper slipped from my hands and a terrible sickening fear came over me. What has habit been doing to me? The habit of finding fault, of reprimanding – this was my reward to you for being a boy. It was not that I did not love you; it was that I expected too much of youth. I was measuring you by the yardstick of my own years.

And there was so much that was good and fine and true in your character. The little heart of you was as big as the dawn itself over the wide hills. This was shown by your spontaneous impulse to rush in and kiss me good night. Nothing else matters tonight, son. I have come to your bedside in the darkness, and I have knelt there, ashamed!

It is a feeble atonement; I know you would not understand these things if I told them to you during your waking hours. But tomorrow I will be a real daddy! I will chum with you, and suffer when you suffer, and laugh when you laugh. I will bite my tongue when impatient words come. I will keep saying as if it were a ritual: ‘He is nothing but a boy – a little boy!’

I am afraid I have visualized you as a man. Yet as I see you now, son, crumpled and weary in your cot, I see that you are still a baby. Yesterday you were in your mother’s arms, your head on her shoulder. I have asked too much, too much.

- W. Livingston Larned

R-R-R-E-D-W-W-O-O-D!

This post is a dedication to my alma matter, AKA Redwood High School, and all of the former Rangers, especially those who attended the school between 2000-2004, that made my experience so wonderful. 

So I was at the LJ Williams Theatre this past weekend to watch my nieces recital.  After she was done with her performance, I left the show early only to find an opening in that god-awful gate that surrounds RHS, it was not there when I attended and it shouldn’t exist now.  Anyways, I decided to wonder past the unlocked gates to see if I could explore the rest of the campus…SUCCESS!

My journey starts off in the area between the tennis courts and school pool.  I decided to make my way through corridor between the locker rooms and the tennis court…our tennis team apparently won some tournament back in 2006.  As I was making my way through I can still smell the stench of football, see the players in their practice gear slowly and reluctantly walking out of the locker room, I could hear the sounds of football cleats against the cement and small chatter between the players, taste the water gushing from the water hose, it was straight tap but it was so delicious in the sweltering heat of the central valley, and feel the pads pressed against my sweat soaked body.  But nothing and I mean NOTHING beats a game night, especially a home game.

As I reached the intersection in front of the gates leading to the Mineral King Bowl, formerly known as Sunkist Stadium, I decided to swing a right to verify that what I’ve heard is true, the Freshman Pole no longer exists. I’m am sad to report…that that what I heard was true.  I still took the opportunity to relieve the moments where I walked down the alley between the gymnasium and the river watching all students, freshman, sophomores, juniors and seniors walking to and from vista trying to push each other into the bright red gum magnet.  But then again, I haven’t walked that path for since I got my car…cause seriously who walks to and from vista?

After my disappointing discovery, I flipped a dick and continued my walk towards the senior court and quads.  The memories were coming back each step I took.  The friends we walked with every day, the talk and chatter passing by, the weaving in and out of the crowd of oncoming students, the sound of handball bouncing against the handball courts and the smiles and laughter of friends walking by accompanied by a usually loud holler of an individuals name just to say “SUP!”  Step by step as we walked to class…or not to class.

I stopped shy of the senior court, in that void between the band room entrance and the student store.  Many of us hated this spot because of the infamous “cum tree” smell.  I remember the feeling of getting up early in the morning to serve tired, grumpy students who probably had their mom wake up to make sure they got to school. I definitely can’t forget that daily 2 hour marathon I called choir class.  It was all too easy back then.  Snapped a couple photos and made my way to the promise land…

SENIOR COURT!  Ok probably not the greatest place to be but it was what you earned after grueling through 3 years of what I know as the greatest high school ever, Redwood.  Albeit, we only have 3 options in Visalia, El Diamante doesn’t exist to me, RHS was by far the best. The stupid antics, the music, the spirit week events, the hacky-sack-ing, the EXTREME hacky-sack-ing, the ditching school, the sea of fast food, the chicken grease stained tree, the screams at students in the distance, the ridicule of non-seniors to get the fuck out of SENIOR court, the drama, the stupid useless sundial, the lack of tables to hold your food, the rumors, the laughs, the smiles, and the tears as we realized had to part ways.  Senior Court is historic landmark in my book.

As I was walking school snapping random pictures with my shitty camera with no flash I call my phone, I started to relive the memories.  And everything seemed so familiar, yet it was so different.  The memories were made so long ago and the setting just wasn’t the same.  It wasn’t the new buildings or the new designs or those minor details that made it seem so different.  It was the lack of friends and fellow rangers.  It didn’t if I knew you or not or if you hated me or I hated you, it was the presence of the people.  It was our realm, an escape from our parents and home into a theme park of awesome friends.  As I walked from one area to another all I could think of were the sights of faces, the feel of a handshake, the sound of voices, the smell of our horrible air quality…but that’s still there.  About 10 Years I first set foot on RHS, 6 years ago I left behind a legacy, yesterday I learned that those 4 awesome years are just mere memories now. It seems so long ago…I want a damn time machine.

I don’t feel right doing this but I don’t really know how I want to finish this post, so I’ll leave it to you, the reader, to finish it with whatever you think about Redwood and the Rangers.  I do feel like there should be a mandatory spell out, just for old time sakes:

R-R-R-E-D-W-W-O-O-D (clap, clap, clapclapclap…with optional stomping)

R-E-D-W-O-O-D (clap, clap, clapclapclap…with optional stomping)

WHO ARE WE?! (some ppl clap here too)

REDWOOD!! (loud cheering)

Thank you fellow rangers for the memories!

Memories…

Some people walk into our lives to change it forever.   These are people at that point in time in which I trusted, these were people I admired, these were people I dedicated my life to.  Sad to say that some, in fact many, of these people are no longer apart of my daily life.  But the memories live on…

I take my friends seriously.  I’ve dedicated my life to my friends and family and up until yesterday I totally forgot about this path.  Motivation plunged and all that was left of me was a sack full of ambition.  I was all ambition and pure rubbish. 

This is a list of memories I have of some of the more significant people in my life.  With some exceptions, memories will start off with one of my first, if not THE first, and continued with one of my favorites.  Hopefully the people I’ve listed are reading this and can recognize themselves:

You sat next to me turned to me and said “Hi, wanna be friends?”…thus started my friendship with the craziest elementary school kid to exist…blame it on the ADHD…but that didn’t make you shoot your own finger with BB gun.

The first girl I ever liked in my life, I remember I got in trouble because I got mad at you.  I got sent to the vice principal’s office and sat there for 1/2 the day.  When I got out, you seemed legitimately worried…was worth it.

As far as I can remember, you were the only chinese person in elementary…you also had a bowl cut.  That snowcone maker you had was pretty awesome…except shaping snowballs was a bitch!

I remember the exact scene in which I saw you in a way that had me trapped for nearly 10 years…enough said.

I don’t remember how we met, but you were the only reason why I had friends in middle school.  My brother also chased you down with a mini-bible constantly yelling “may the power of christ compel you!”…that was awesome.

Who gets a “D” in freshman health class?!  Everyday I hear your voice cheering me on like that one night we jumped off the water hole at midnight. 

Your heroes consisted of Spiderman, James Bond, and Bruce Lee.  I don’t know how many times we almost died, but driving around time aimlessly will also be a great moment.

I remember you wore this Neon Green shirt that made me notice you for the first time in months.  French class would never have been what it was if it wasn’t for you.

Two words, “No Balls.”  I remember dragging you from your bathroom to your bedroom, and all you gave a shit about was your goddamn sock that fell of on our journey.

This white guy is really damn cocky…and he looks like a goddamn yeti.  Dominating Visalia in MTG was only one of our accomplishment…as well as projectile vomiting.

You wore a shirt that said “girls gone wild” the first day I met you…it wasn’t a real shirt.  It was a gray shirt with “girls gone wild” spray painted on it, but nonetheless…your enthusiasm and addictive nature have crammed my memory of anchorman, happy gilmore, and dude where’s my car.

Hey wanna get some food?…later on at pippin, you said “Your cambodian!?…my friend’s uncle wanted to be a rebel and open up a bagel shop.”  I will always be ready to take you down with a sword fight…even when you’re trying to sleep.

“Hey, is your internet working?  Cause my game wont’ connect.”  the only memory I have of you is…FREAK!

“OHHHH YOU’RE THAT GIRL WHO GOT DRUNK ON THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL AND BUMPED HER HEAD ON HER BED POST!”…you will also, apparently, always be 23

“Tiny is ownage, I’m gonna pick him now”…he apparently was not ownage in your hands.  That one summer of maple story was horrible, constant CJ runs where you’d always get the fried zuchinni or chili cheese fries, no wonder we got into such bad shape.

I remember you couldn’t hold your liquor at PA party…I also remember our sushi binge which was not good for our health or wallets.

Why does everybody make fun of you so much?…he can’t be that bad can he?  Yes…yes you can be.  I still refuse to play dota with you.

I remember you were always so quiet and excited about some of the smallest things.  But you also introduced me into the world of Top Gear…best thing ever!

OHH you’re the cambodian who’s uncle decided to be a rebel with a bagel shop.  Two words…durian party.


Thank you.